A Little Introduction

Hello, and welcome to my blog page.

I have had a few experiences, especially recently, that have opened my eyes, my heart and mind, even though many have been extremely painful at times, they have also brought joy, laughter, knowledge and hope.

To some of you, I will appear to be crazy, well maybe I am? I do love the individuals and eccentrics of this world, those who are not scared to show they are different, those that do not hide the true meaning of being alive and enjoy it to the full, their way.

To others, I hope to bring understanding, enjoyment, happiness and love. To see the true beauty in ourselves, in nature and in our amazing Universe. To learn to love each other, to love ourselves, to live in peace and happiness.

I will explain further as we go along, and through sharing my thoughts, ramblings, beliefs, joy and pain with you, I hope you will come to understand me and my journey.


Beliefs, Demons & Life After Death


Today’s blog is an expansion on a conversation I had yesterday.

Like most people at different times of their lives, we find ourselves questioning our long-held beliefs. So who is right and who is wrong?

Firstly let me say I believe strongly, that what we choose to believe and call ourselves should always be a personal choice. Pagan, Spirituality, Methodist, Catholic, Hindu, Muslim are all just names. The same as Universe, Divine, God, Lord, Allah, Buddha, Spirit. Most of us have beliefs of some sort. And as humans, we like to label things, name them, put them in a box or genre. Personally, I refer to myself as a Pagan Christian with Buddhist tendencies. Really all “religious” beliefs stem from the same source. We are aware that we are intelligent animals and like to think we are at the top of the evolutionary ladder, but we are also aware there is a something else, something that is inexplicable a hidden knowledge. We often feel drawn to find out more, to try to release that knowledge, that “thing” that nags at the back of our minds.

The truth is no one knows, but there appears to be “something” and a hell of a lot of us are trying to find out what it is. Some by going to church, temples, mosques etc, (again just names), they are basically all the same thing, a place to go to where you can search for the answers, including spiritual circles, covens etc. Usually, there is a person there who has built up a lot of knowledge and usually, these people have had that knowledge passed on to them by others. However, that knowledge started somewhere, someone decided that what they thought made sense and so must be right. They talked to others and they also agreed it made sense so must be true. They told others too and so a system of belief began. What one person believes does not need to disparage another person’s beliefs. All the beliefs can be moulded to fit along with another’s. If we fit them all together than we are probably somewhere near the truth. (Unfortunately, religion has also been used as a way to impose rules, as an excuse for arguments, fights and wars. But that is a subject for another day).

I believe, and yes it is only my opinion, that eventually regardless of what route we take, we (our souls) will all find that truth. Some will find it through a community and some as an individual. How one person chooses to find that knowledge is their choice, as long as they do no harm to themselves, others or the environment.

From a tiny child, I have always believed in life after death, I don’t believe in the devil or hell. These strong beliefs stem from my mum, she always said,”There is no hell, hell is what we create on Earth”. To me devils, demons etc are us humans, they are the people who perform evil acts, the ones that frighten us, whether it is intentional or not, they may be unkind, hurtful, some may even enjoy inflicting or seeing others in pain, frightened or upset. There is another type that we all detect at times, they are the demons within, they are our doubts, our insecurities, our fears & phobias, our unkind thoughts & deeds. And also our illnesses, diseases, inabilities etc, these can also make us feel and behave in a way that may hurt ourselves or others. It’s normally unintentional, but it may cause us to feel irritable, angry, vengeful, depressed, lost, lonely, unworthy or simply we may, or at least appear to, stop caring.

As for life after death, again this belief began with my mum when I was a little girl, mum seemed to know things before they happened. For instance, she was awake hours before my grandfather unexpectedly died, it was in the early 1970’s and my grandparents didn’t have a telephone and lived hundreds of miles away, but mum “knew” she would get a call from Wales, so she sat patiently knitting in the small hours of the morning waiting by the phone for the call. She later told me it was her grandmother who had awoken her; her grandmother had passed away decades before.

I myself have had an out of body experience and just recently a near death experience. Both of these have made my belief in there being something else beyond our present human knowledge deeper and the urge to know more even stronger.

Once we start talking about this subject others often share stories and their experiences, we ponder on the questions of how do we know and predict things in advance, where does this foreknowledge come from, why do some of us seem to have these abilities and others not? This is something that I hope to learn more of and as I do and if it seems appropriate, I will share them with you.

Fascinating isn’t it!?


I will share my experiences and those of my mum in more detail another time.




A Drug Seeking Nut Job?

Living with an Addisonian

This story is fictional, but is based on stories of people that I have talked to.

Are you a drug seeking nut job? Lifesaving Steriods ARE NOT recreational drugs! Are you a drug seeking nut job?
Life saving Steriods ARE NOT recreational drugs!

Sally woke suddenly.  She could feel the headache.  She knew what it meant.  She had had these before.
She reached on her night stand for her drugs.  Taking 4 tablets, she put them in her mouth, took a mouth full of water and rolled over to try and go back to sleep.
She knew that getting this headache was going to mean a bad day ahead. 
Sally looked at her clock.  It was only 3am.  If she could sleep till 7 and then take more drugs she would be fine she hoped. 
She rolled over, praying the drugs would kick in soon.  Wishing the headache would go away, and hoping the rest would not come.  Deep down she knew it…

View original post 2,475 more words

Yesterday’s Conversations

I truly don’t believe demons exist. It’s just a balance, we can all be good and bad, and we all have weaknesses. How you see yourself makes the persona real, change the way you look into yourself and you will see you are also full of light. I don’t see you as evil. I think you’re confused by programming from your childhood and/or past experiences. I know that isn’t the real you. I see the real you and you are not evil, the very opposite in fact. If that were not true you wouldn’t care about the past or how others think of you. Let go!

It is never anyone’s soul’s intent to cause harm or pain. Our true selves send a part of us here to experience and learn, sometimes the main lessons are for us and sometimes they are not. But we all still learn in the process.

I am not proud of some things I have done, some I regret deeply, during this life we are only human and as humans we can be good and bad. It is all a part of how our souls evolve and grow. We have both learned some very hard lessons and experienced massive traumas. But they Do Not define who we really are. The true lesson is to learn from our mistakes, to experience joy & pain. Without both how can we know everything there is to know? We have to continuously learn to reach our full potential in each life we experience. I believe your lesson is to let go of what you think you are and become your true self. Let the veils of the past drop before you and see the good and beautiful creature you truly are.

You have to let the hurt go. Continuing like this is the same as taking poison and expecting someone else to die. Don’t do this to yourself anymore. Animals love you, nature loves you, neither would if you were ‘evil’. Always remember that.

You still have the rest of your life ahead of you. It is time to enjoy this life, time to become one with yourself and nature. Time to become the real person, not the shadow you dwell in.

You have followed a bad example, because when we hurt we hurt others, sometimes intentionally sometimes not. 

But that doesn’t define you, so don’t let it.

You are no longer that person, you can be whomever you want to be, it may not bring wealth and high stature, but it will bring peace and happiness to you and your soul.
You have strength and courage, intelligence, kindness and wit, use those to open your eyes and heart to see your true self.

Everything you say and do has an impact on what you think of yourself. Talk negatively about yourself, your past and your future and negative is what you get in your life.

Stop focusing on the past, stop focusing on “bad”, stop labelling yourself as a demon or evil. Forgiveness starts with forgiving yourself.

Put the past behind you and throw away the key. Nothing we can say or do will change that. Those lessons are learnt and never to be repeated.

Start using your gifts,

Start being the person you want to be,

Start doing, thinking, behaving to yourself as well as others with true love and care.


I know this is a fundamental truth. Positivity breeds positivity. Use it every second of every day.

Start truly believing in yourself, in your true capabilities. Let the past go!!

You are the future!!!

Step forward into the light, THAT is who you are!